How drunk are you??
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
These 23 Kids Have The Most Overbearing Parents Imaginable
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.