Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
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Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
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