i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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