my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
