tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I just had sex on a roof
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
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