Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I have fence marks all over my body
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
