hotel room ftw
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
