The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Just invented taco cereal.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
