come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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