Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
