Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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