You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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