took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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