It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
