So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
im holly from the hills drunk
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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