He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize