TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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