there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me i tasted like america
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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