Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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