She said her name was "party"
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.â€
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