You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
