I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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