You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
My pussy is not your playground.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
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