I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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