so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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