i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
