i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Randomize