Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
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