It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
BRING THE BAGELS
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
