69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
