I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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