ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Randomize