If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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