i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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