that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
