We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Randomize
