The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
