He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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