So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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