Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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