She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
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This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
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They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
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