my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
