the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
