is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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