You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Randomize
