When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
