You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
