It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
I see more hoeing in ur future
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