you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
nutella sex= disaster
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
