Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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