Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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