Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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