before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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