there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
