Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
