Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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