Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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