I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize