I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
