who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
return my video game
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Randomize
