listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
